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Biblical examples of family diversity
are astounding
The Advocate
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May 17, 2005
Commentary by Reverend
Jay Emerson Johnson, Ph.D.
 May
17 marks the first anniversary of Massachusetts offering equal
marriage benefits to same-sex couples. For those of us who believe
in those rights, and the more than 5,000 same-sex couples that have
been married, it is a moment for reflection and celebration. Our
joy, however, is mixed with a sense of loss, because 14 states have
since passed measures banning legal recognition of same-sex
relationships.
Religious opponents of equal marriage frequently use the Bible for
justification of their stance. In March, the Southern Baptist
Convention released the Nashville
Declaration on Same-Sex Marriage, in which it based its
opposition to equality on "the biblical teaching that God designed
marriage as a lifetime union of one man and one woman." For biblical
literalists, they don't know much about the Bible. Biblical families
and American families share the word "family" in common, but not
much more. But if we look beyond the radically different structure
of Biblical marriage, modern families can still find timeless values
in the scriptures to guide them.
First, it's important to recognize that the most common marriage
pattern in the Bible is polygamy: not a union of one man and one
woman, but a union of one man and as many women as he could afford
to keep (see Solomon, and his 700 wives and 300 concubines). In the
Christian scriptures, the two primary figures, Jesus and the Apostle
Paul, are both unmarried and childless. Based on the model of Jesus
and his disciples, the early church developed a radical model of
family that broke with ancient kinship patterns in favor of a
religious and nonbiological church family.
"Biblical family values" present just as many problems as "biblical
families." Abraham's use of his slave, Hagar, to sire a child, and
his subsequent banishment of her and the child to the wilderness
(Genesis 21:14) would be considered unspeakably callous by today's
standards. Yet according to the family values of his day, Abraham
was acting completely within his rights. When Jacob steals his
brother Esau's birthright, the Bible describes it not simply as an
act of brotherly betrayal but as a necessary part of God's will for
God's people (Genesis 27). Even more severe is Jephthah's sacrifice
of his own daughter to fulfill the terms of a foolish vow (Judges
11:29-40) or Onan being put to death for refusing to impregnate his
late brother's wife (Genesis 38:9). Parents who cover their
children's eyes during Desperate
Housewives, might be shocked to discover what lurid tales
of betrayal, rape, incest, and adultery all transpiring within
traditional biblical families lurk between the covers of their
family Bible.
Not every biblical family relationship is as dysfunctional as these
examples. But when biblical figures act virtuously, they often do so
outside the bounds of "traditional family." The story of Ruth and
Naomi is an account of same-sex devotion often read, ironically,
during heterosexual marriage ceremonies (Ruth 1:16). David and
Jonathan's relationship is presented with a tenderness lacking in
most biblical marriages: David admits that his love for his friend
"surpassed the love of women" (2 Samuel 1:26). In the Gospels, when
Jesus is asked about his own family, he replies with an answer that
was as radical for his day as it is now: "Whoever does the will of
my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother" (Matthew
12:48-50).
The structures of biblical families are rooted in ancient cultural
practices far removed from the sensibilities of Western society; the
authors of the Bible would scarcely recognize the partnership of
equals that marks a contemporary American marriage. But this doesn't
mean we should abandon the Bible as a guide to family values. As the
mutable institution of marriage evolves with shifting cultural
norms, the Bible continually calls us back to what truly matters in
human relationships. St. Paul wrote about these values, calling them
the "fruit of the spirit": "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians
5:22). Surely these are biblical values every family would embrace.
According to Paul, "love is patient; love is kind; love is not
envious or boastful or arrogant or rude...It bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1
Corinthians 13:4-7). Even when knowledge and human institutions
fail, these values, Paul says, remain constant: faith, hope and
love. The greatest of these three, Paul concludes, is love (1
Corinthians 13:13).
Societal definitions of marriage and family will inevitably change
over the course of history. It's clear that what is important in the
Bible is not a family structure based on biology or even
heterosexuality, but the quality of love exhibited in the
relationships. And if same-sex couples exhibit such spiritual
values, they deserve the legal protection and civil recognition of
marriage. If we have any intention of preserving marriage or
protecting families, we must base our support on values that are
unchangeable: values such as faith, hope, and love. But the greatest
among these whether the couple is same-sex or heterosexual is
love.
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The Rev. Jay Emerson Johnson,
Ph.D., a member of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Religious
Leadership Roundtable, is an Episcopal priest and the programming
and development director for the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies
in Religion and Ministry at Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley,
California.
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